Kindness & The Inner Critic

Day 10: Kindness & The Inner Critic

“Become aware of the negative self-talk and listen in with curiosity and compassion instead of guilt and shame.” – Elise Museles

The inner critic, that person inside of you that says you are doing it wrong, that’s not fast enough, you’re not good enough, you can’t do that. Or the even uglier twin, the inner critic turned out. The part of you that looks out at others to judge them so that you do not feel the pain the inner critic causes. How do we identify the inner critic and quell those messages? How do we stop gossiping and own that by judging others we are really deflecting our inner critic? The answer is through kindness. Of course that kindness, tenderness, understanding and patience must first come from within. So how do we do it? We process our feelings, with an open heart, with tenderness, gentleness and understanding. The inner critic cannot survive kindness, gentleness, tenderness and understanding. It just cannot.

1. Kindness to Self:

   Quelling the inner critic is not easy, in fact it can be extremely challenging. The inner critic is very sly and sneaky and could be so deeply embedded that we don’t even consciously hear it. The first step is to become aware of the messages inside, then with tenderness and patience, try to process those thoughts and feelings until you reach a place of understanding.  This will take practice to master, but when you do become a master of your inner voice, the kindness will exude.

2. Kindness to Others:

   Here’s another quote to think about: “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice,” Peggy O’Mara. This is a great reminder of how we need to be aware of our inner self-talk, so that we can also be aware of what comes out of our mouths in the form of criticism, judgement, or gossip. Especially gossip. Gossip can be sneaky as well. It can hide under the guise of concern. Be aware and master your inner voice, so that yo may always trust that the voice that comes out is kind.

3. Kindness to Strangers:

   We have opportunities everyday to be kind in the way we speak to, look at and carry ourselves among strangers. We always have the chance to come into a new situation with openness, kindness and understanding.

4. Kindness to Our Planet:

   I’m a little stumped on this one. However, studies have shown that plants grow healthier, and faster if shown attention, talk and care. Go ahead and be kind to the plants around you and watch them grow in abundance. Just don’t forget to water them too!

Jennifer Palazzo

Photo Courtesy of FreeImages.com/JessHall